Swazi Time

Well, I’m now into my ninth week here so it’s probably time to reflect on what it’s like working in Swaziland.

The most striking thing is the concept which is variously referred to as African time or Swazi time. I know my past performance on punctuality wouldn’t win me any prizes (though I like to think I’ve got better over the last few years), but even I’m bewildered by the lack of awareness of time. I went to a conference last week which was supposed to be an 8.30 start. Over 60 people were invited, 24 of us had arrived by 9 o’clock. By 9.30, another 10 or so had drifted in, and the same again by 10.30. No apologies, no hint that there was anything amiss. That afternoon we got to a 2pm meeting at 3pm, only to find that the chairperson arrived 20 minutes after us.

But it’s not just the time-keeping. People get randomly invited to meetings with so little information that the meetings are anything between ineffective and useless.

However the upside of being randomly invited to meetings in such a small country is that I’m getting exposed to all sorts of stuff which I wouldn’t see if I was in a larger one. In the short time I’ve been here, I’ve been to government meetings on the economic empowerment of women, on whether they should introduce student loans, on preparing a UN report on progress against the Millennium Development Goals, and a meeting with the International Labour Organisation today on the rights of Swazis who work in South Africa. A lot of it is fairly depressing and frustrating, though it’s all good learning on how difficult it is to get things done.

Possibly the most depressing day was the one with the 8.30(!) conference I referred to above. It had been called by the Ministry of Economic Planning, ostensibly to engage/involve (depending on how technical you want to get) different groups in preparing the 2010 report on how Swaziland is performing on the UN’s Millennium Development Goals (MDGs). The cynics would say it’s to show they’ve engaged people, and as such it was a complete shambles.

The organisers wanted people to volunteer to work on each of the eight MDGs. When they got to Infant Mortality, there was only one person out of the 43 present who wanted to work on it. Maternal Mortality, only one person – the same one. HIV – you guessed it, the same person. This is a country where HIV has inflicted the most terrible burden. Since it hit Swaziland, infant mortality has increased – 12 out of 100 children die before their fifth birthday, maternal mortality has doubled, and 40% of pregnant women between 15 and 24 are HIV positive.

To add insult to injury, the organisers then decided to split people up arbitrarily into groups. I ended up working on HIV and I think it’s fair to say that we were all pretty clueless. To make it even worse, our group prepared our feedback on a PC which we couldn’t get working, and the facilitators decided we should just ‘leave’ HIV. That’s pretty scary for a country with the highest prevalence of HIV in the world. Thankfully some bright spark suggested this wasn’t such a bright idea. It was utterly depressing.

This wasn’t helped by the fact that the afternoon meeting was about a trade summit to be held in Swaziland in August. When we got on to the budget, the local organisers had to explain to some visiting organisers that it had increased because the King has agreed to be a keynote speaker. This means that they will need to fund a private kitchen (he won’t eat from anywhere else) and they will have to support his entourage of 100-200 people. To go from a conference talking about such terrible issues (the one I forgot to mention is that over 40% of the population don’t have enough to eat) to funding the King’s private kitchen is a little surreal. I think my face probably spoke volumes...

And then there’s my job, which isn’t going so well. Forget the lack of desk and chair – years as a consultant prepares you for that – it’s the fact that FESBC is really an organisation in name only. There's no money, and very little energy or drive from most of the Board members. Anyway, there’s lots happening on that front and a Plan B (in Swaziland, no intention of giving up so soon) so I’ll write something on it next (for anyone who’s read this far!).

My Brilliant Career

Oh dear, oh dear...

I was giving a presentation the other day and one of FESBC's advisors, a man called Obed Dlamini, came along but had to leave early. I sat with him for 20 minutes, one on one, to discuss this presentation with him. I'd been told he is a Special Advisor to the King, so you'd think I would have made a special effort to remember him.

Fast forward two days and someone attracts my attention in the local cafe. Not a clue who it was until he reminded me...you guessed it, Obed Dlamini. My only defence is that I've met LOTS of different people, and I am struggling with recognising everyone. Before you say anything about me being racist, the same applies the other way round, if you see what I mean. Plenty of people think that Gemma and I are sisters - because we're both white and look identical to each other.

Bad enough you think...

Except I was telling someone earlier about who attended the meeting and they said, "Oh, Obed Dlamini, the ex-Prime Minister". Oh dear lord, one and the same. It's not helped by the fact that there have only been two different Prime Ministers since Independence. This is up there with the time I was at Bath Spa Railway Station and I blurted out to the Right Honourable Anthony Wedgewood Benn "Hillary Benn's your son!!!???". But so much worse...

Our new neighbours

Well the good news is that we finally moved into our new house a couple of weeks ago. It’s in a place called Ezulwini, which is a valley between Mbabane (the capital, where I was living before) and Manzini (where I work). The photo with The Beast, aka my new car. It's pretty simple but we like it. Furniture's a bit of a challenge though. Skillshare are supposed to kit us out with the basics, and basic is the word for it. My favourite is the stained old mattress they gave me. They bought a new one for me when I complained but it was so cheap that you could see the sun through it when they took it off the van. So I've stuck with the stained one and I'm trying not to think about it too much. I won't bore you with the other complaints...

The house is joined to a backpackers’ hostel and at the moment there is a group of 22 builders from India staying there, apparently working on a project being run for the King’s Office. Why the King is employing workers from India and not Swazis is a subject of much speculation in the house. They’re pretty noisy but entertaining, or annoying, depending on how you view it. Slaughtering chickens Halal style in the garden certainly hasn't gone down well with my house mates (but then they have been able to hear the whole process). They turned the garden into a barber's shop last weekend, which was nicer than using it as an abattoir.

Our other neighbours are a group of vervet monkeys, who visit in the mornings and evening to eat mangoes off the tree in our garden. Certainly a bit different from sparrows and squirrels.

Con's been here for the last couple of weeks so we've been doing a lot of exploring. As well as eating our way round Swaziland (old habits die hard!), we also went away for a couple of nights, to Mkhaya Game Reserve. Mkhaya was set up to try to conserve the rhino population, and as you can see from the photos, we managed to see some rhinos - a little too up close and personal for our liking. We also saw giraffes, zebra, impala (and lots of other types of antelope), elephants, monkeys etc etc...but no lions (there aren't any). We'll be off to South Africa for that...

The accommodation was impossibly romantic, open to all sides, and really private. Highly recommended if anyone fancies a trip down. We also had some lovely visitors - the picture of the nyala and her baby was taken from our bedroom.

Well, I've probably made it sound like I'm on one long extended holiday so far, I'll make sure I tone it down next time (Mike Havard - that's for you).