"Cops seize goat meat at funeral"

That's my favourite headline in the paper so far. Apparently the goat meat had been stolen. Of course the mourners then tried to lynch the people who had sold them said stolen goat meat.

A good one this week was "Farmer sleeps in tree to scare away warthogs". I'll keep an eye out for the good ones. The South Wales Echo is positively Guardianesque compared to this.

Sadly though, most days the papers (there are two, with various degrees of government intervention) are full of stories about rapes, incest and various other sex crimes and violence. The rates of gender-based violence are so high...in the first two months of the year there were 121 reported rapes - in a tiny country. And this will just be the tip of the iceberg. It's difficult to know whether the papers are full of these stories just because of the high number of crimes, or because the Swazis love to read about it. Sad either way.

The other sad thing is that the spike in number of rapes is often attributed to the marula season. Marula is a local fruit, and one of its uses is to make alcohol - tastes a bit like the raw Calvados my brother Christopher once brought back from a farmer in Normandy - the kind of stuff that makes you go blind! People (men) then gather to drink it and every year during the season the rates of rape go up. But the King swears by its health-giving properties...

The next Julia Morley...?

Work is taking some time to come together and so Gemma and I decided to attend (gatecrash might be a better way of putting it) the International Women's Day conference run by the Swaziland Action Group Against Abuse (SWAGAA).

On the next table was the current heroine (or as she put it "shero", as opposed to "hero") of women's groups in Swaziland, the attorney Doo Aphane (below).

Doo just went to court to fight for the right of married women to own property jointly with their husbands, and won her case just two weeks ago. Until then, women had no rights at all regarding title deeds property - this refers to formal property ownership, mainly in urban areas.

You can read more about it at http://allafrica.com/stories/201003050891.html

The other "shero" is Justice Qinisile Mabuza who heard the case and is the first female judge in the Swaziland High Court.

In rural areas, all land is owned by the King. In exchange for cattle, the chief of each area is able to loan you land (if you're a man). However, this land can be taken back at any time - on your death, or before if the chief and local committee decide that you should not have it any more. (As an aside, cows are also used as a "gift" to families in exchange for a wife. Apparently the going rate is between 5 and 20 cows, depending on how rich the family is.)

Anyway, back to the conference... In some contrast to Doo on the next table, on our table was Miss Swaziland 2009/2010, and the head of the local organising committee, Miss Swaziland 1975, Vinah Mamba-Gray. Miss Swaziland is sponsored by Kentucky Fried Chicken, and alas it does say Finger Lickin' Good on her sash. Imagine our surprise when Vinah turned to Gemma and me and asked us if we would join her on the organising committee for the next Miss Swaziland. Never have I (or Gemma apparently) been soooooo lost for words.

Having said that, SWAGAA is trying to get behind Miss Swaziland to try to be more supportive of young women, possibly as Miss Swaziland 2008 committed suicide last year. There's also a feeling that Miss Swaziland could provide a useful channel to young women for communication on HIV and AIDS. So maybe it's not all bad, though Gemma and I politely (we think) declined her kind invitation.

Somewhat embarrassingly, a photo of Gemma and me featured in today's Times of Swaziland, appearing to listen attentively (impressive!) to one of the speakers. I'll be sure to put a copy on here when we've found a way of scanning it in (don't hold your breath!).